Articles by oldno7

The Old No 7 organization is a proud one, however we are not to proud to admit when we have made a mistake. Today we part ways with Brian Boucher. We are a little embarrassed to admit this but when we signed him we thought we were getting Bobby Boucher, the somewhat retarded but lovable character from the Waterboy movie. We thought his killer instinct would transfer well to the NHL game, however we actually got a waterboy instead. How Mr. Boucher managed to lose the starting job to some Bobo from Whogivesafuckastan is beyond us, but I guess anything is possible in the wacky world of Flyers goalies. One of his Old No 7 teammates had this to say upon hearing of his departure: “can’t say I’m surprised, he was even a shitty waterboy…. He couldn’t understand why no one wanted to drink from the same cup as that mono infested, crappy furniture selling loser who used to “play” here” Brian Boucher – $1,350,000 Salary returned – $675,000 Dec 9 @ lunch time

Old No 7 has released this statement: The time has come to part ways with Mr Duff… I mean Comrie. This decease ridden poor excuse for a hockey player has finally worn out his welcome with the Old No 7 organization. He screwed us last season when he died from mono, probably a gift from his whore of a wife, only to come back and sign with the Penguins. We as an organization should have remembered a wise quote during the offseason;  ‘Fool me once [pause], shame on…shame on you. [Long pause] Fool me. [Pause] You can’t get fooled again.’ But given that Mike would be playing along side Sid the Kid or Gino that could only mean lots of points for him. So we took a chance on him and he repayed us with a miserable 5 points in 16 games! I mean if Pittsburg signed an actual penguin to play along Crosby, I think that the belly sliding creature would get more than 5 damn points! If that wasn’t bad enough, he somehow was injured during a game where he was a healthy scratch! Undisclosed lower body injury my ass, it’s herpes for sure. I’m not having him sit on the sidelines so he can receive sexts from his wife, did I mention she was a whore? So as of this moment Old No 7 is cutting all ties with Mike Comrie. I’m serious, i’m not even shopping at the Brick anymore! Dropped Mike comrie – $3,000,000 Salary returned – $1,500,000 (amazingly the price he paid for the ring he gave to his prostitute) Dec 2 @3ish