On the heels of a shocking announcement by Bob Gainey to buy out Georges Laracque’s contract at season’s end, Magnum Hockey Club are proud to announce the dropping of the following players to the lower ranks of the ASFHL, or the Assinine Salame Fantasy Hockey League, where other clowns reside:
Keith Ballard, you almost took off your goalie’s head, you are banished
Tom Wandell, you are a mere waste of space, flee
Mathieu Perreault, go dwell in the cellar
Nathan Gerbe, grow a few inches and we’ll talk
Salary return = (1,212,500 + 878,571 + 500,000 + 950,000)/2 = 1,770,535